Today is a special day—my wife’s birthday. For those who’ve met Aneta, know that I got the better end of 
the deal. No question about it.
At Christ for the Nations Institute where we met as students in 2000, her friends voiced their concerns to Aneta about me: You need someone who knows how to have fun … he’s too serious! (Aneta always joked that that I was so holy that I hovered over the ground.)
Well, I like to think I’ve proven them wrong. Though there’s been a lot heartaches along the way, we’ve certainly have had some fun too. Loads of fun. It has been an adventure in more ways than we could have imagined. Through the ups and downs, the Lord has been faithful to us. We’ve had to learn to laugh even in the midst of the down times.
Aneta is full of life. She has a laugh that reveals the Father’s joy and pleasure. My heart is always full when I see my wife laughing; whether it’s with some of our quirky friends or listening to our favorite Christian comedian, Tim Hawkins.
Even tonight as we reflected on some of her birthdays in the early years of our marriage, which to be quite honest, were very difficult. I brought a lot of hidden baggage into the marriage which was no laughing matter.
But somehow we were able to extract a measure of joy even in the midst of raw pain.
For example, while participating in the Graduate School of Campus Ministry through Fuller Theological Seminary in Pasadena, California, we encountered some significant turbulence (perhaps an understatement!). It was 2002. We were fresh on the heels of celebrating our first year of marriage. We were still newlyweds. Then all hell broke loose in our marriage.
While living in Long Beach, we frequented a doughnut shop within walking distance of our apartment. I still remember vividly the first time we visited Jerry’s Donut Shop as we were allured inside by the aroma of fresh doughnuts. A man kindly greeted us. His name was Lin.
He was originally a refugee from Cambodia who sought new beginning in the United States. He fled the reign of terror at the hands of a brutal dictator who slaughtered countless lives. He found himself in multiple cities in the U.S. before eventually relocating to southern California.
Tonight we laughed over our many stories involving Lin. Stories woven into the fabric of a very dark time for us. A thread of laughter needled within a time of much pain and sorrow.
During that first visit, I chose an apple fritter. (Bless the soul who came up with one of the greatest use of apples, apple fritters!) Aneta on the other hand did not want anything.
Lin seemed surprised, retorting, “Nothing?” as he eyed her suspiciously. He didn’t seem to believe that Aneta didn’t want a doughnut or a fritter as he packed the apple fritter into a bag for us to take home. With broken English in a semi-serious tone, he told Aneta with a twinkle in his eyes, “Now don’t you eat your husband’s fritter!” (Yes, he was married and knew too well the subtle plots of wives to devour their husband’s fritters!)
Upon arrival back home, we were surprised to find that he packed two extra doughnuts along with my fritter. It made us smile. His generosity warmed our hearts.
This became the norm. He’d always pack an extra doughnut (or two). What started as an extra two doughnuts on our very first visit evolved to dozens of extra doughnuts on our very last visit six months later for us to share with our fellow classmates. Lin’s kindness was remarkable.
In between the two extra doughnuts at the beginning to the dozens of free donuts at the end was a constant mouthful of laughter and fritters.
One morning we invited him over for breakfast. The wait turned well over an hour without any word from him. Finally we gave up as I gulped down the breakfast Aneta prepared earlier. To our surprise, he showed up shortly after I finished eating. We quickly ushered him to the table to eat breakfast, but he was more interested in us eating what he brought for us to eat. It was a sandwich he’d pick up at the local Cambodian store. Immediately I discerned a very unique aroma that wasn’t compatible with my taste bud palate.
He held out the sandwich for me to take. I rubbed my belly, explaining, “Oh, I’m so full from eating all those pancakes!” Meanwhile he thrust the sandwich into Aneta’s hands. She S-L-O-W-L-Y took a bite. Later she admitted that the sandwich certainly was not on par with the apple fritters!
Shortly thereafter he insisted that we accompany him and his family to a local Cambodian restaurant early one Saturday morning. We did not know what to expect. Instead of a meal that resembled a breakfast, we ate some kind of soup along with other authentic Cambodian food. This time we enjoyed the food. The most unique aspect of the time together as we huddled at the table was the live music. It was an all female band that resembled an Asian “Spice Girls” band.
Afterwards he invited us to his home as he sang karaoke songs in his native tongue on his gigantic television screen.
Today we laughed at the memories that retain a fond place in our hearts in spite of the hardship we went through at that time. In the face of raw pain, we had to make choices to look for the good in the midst of the bad. Such humorous moments allowed us to see a trace of His goodness even in the midst of my own failures and stumbling.
It did not cause us to numb ourselves to the pain we endured as a married couple, rather it taught us to find His blessing in all forms, even humor. Now we laugh freely with deep gratitude unto the Lord for his oasis of blessings in a parched season of life.
I love this woman. I pray that we’ll continue to enjoy God’s goodness in all seasons of life as we grow old together.
Happy birthday my love!
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ALSO READ HOW WE MET: Ravished by Beauty
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